Category Archives: This & That

May 28, 2015 · 9:57 am

The Memories Life Triggers

Sunday morning. I’m on my way to church on a warm, sunny, spring day. David, the owner/driver of the “Driving Miss Daisy” service, and I have been chatting. We come to 16th Avenue, and turn onto it. My sentence ends mid-stream and I gasp in wonder. Ahead stretch blocks of cherry trees in full blossom. Last week there was only an occasional flower. People were saying then, “This is far too early for spring. If it turns cool again the trees will be damaged!”

These comments run through my mind as we drive past tree after tree, all dressed in their spring best. Apparently nature has its own schedule and doesn’t consult the weather forecast! My spirits soar. Joy and happiness fill my heart. I shake my head and say, “I’m new to Vancouver, David. Perhaps one day I will take all of Vancouver’s beauty for granted, but I’m not there yet.”

“Better than the prairies, in your opinion?”   Continue reading →

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May 14, 2015 · 4:26 am

Flash!

As I open my sleepy eyes, the radio is pouring out its news. The big story is the removal of a boy from his home because of abuse. Unexpected emotions sweep over me. The world flashes before my eyes, and I see and feel intensely. I catch glimpses of a world I do not recognize. Panic rises in me, tightens my throat and I whisper, “It’s happening again. What in life am I missing this time?”   Continue reading →

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April 23, 2015 · 5:25 pm

Beloved Animals Who Have Shared My Life: Final Sequel

Part 3 – 1967 to 1972 – The End of the Road

The previous episode of Rocky’s story ended with the news of our family move
back to Edmonton in the summer of 1967. This picks up there.

Fall, 1967. Rocky is getting older: he’s 13 now. For some breeds that would be very old, but although Rocky is now an old dog, he isn’t ancient! The “kids” in Rocky’s adopted family are growing up, too. Ralph is 20, Lorna 17, Anne 15, and Mary 12. As a result, our family dynamics are changing. The children are moving into more adult activities. They still love Rocky, but now he spends more time with Sheldon and me. We’re the ones who take him to the vet for check-ups and advice. His stiffness is increasing, so Sheldon adds some cushioning to Rocky’s basket-bed. I find a piece of carpet for him to lie on in the kitchen, or in the archway to the living room. He loves to lie there and watch us.   Continue reading →

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April 6, 2015 · 5:24 pm

Beloved Animals Who Have Shared My Life: Final Sequel

Part 2 – 1955 to 1971 – The Changes Time Brings

July 1955 and it is Saturday morning. The porridge is almost ready and the family will soon be down for breakfast. I’ll call Rocky up, his food is already in his dish. How that poor dog can eat.

“Rocky! Come on up. Get your food before the kids get here, and you won’t have to stop eating to be petted.”

I can hear the scrambling on the staircase steps, and here he is. Well that’s a welcome! He comes over to greet me before running to his dish. It is only a week since we brought him home. It is hard to believe how much he has improved in that time. Instead of shrinking back, he will let anyone in the family pet him.   Continue reading →

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March 27, 2015 · 7:18 pm

Beloved Animals Who Have Shared My Life: A Final Sequel

This is a story about another beloved animal, not a sheep this time, or a chicken, but a dog.

Part 1 – Decisions and Acquisition

It’s the summer of 1955. The Gibson family is thriving, enjoying the sunshine and Ralph’s first summer vacation from school. His 8th birthday will come in October. The family discussions turn often to this big day. Ralph has two wishes for his special day: a bicycle and a dog.

“It will have to be one or the other,” says his Dad. “We can’t manage both. It takes work to learn to ride a bike, but it’s fun too.”

“Is a dog work too, Dad?” Ralph asks.

“Yes, son, but a different kind of work. A dog needs good care, lots of exercise, and much love.”

Five-year-old Lorna chimes in, “Get a dog, Ralphie. I love dogs.”

Three-year-old Anne mutters to no one in particular, “Don’t like doggies. They scare me!”

Seven-month-old Mary is the only one who doesn’t give a hoot what his choice is!    Continue reading →

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December 10, 2014 · 5:50 pm

Happy Holidays

I love to celebrate, and what better reason than the ending of a year? Regardless of our family’s many faiths, or lack of any, the year is rendering its last few gasps.

My next Holiday event, this one the Hanukkah/Christmas party, is coming soon. In the midst of my planning, I pause and ponder. This departing year, what was it like? For me, there was a bit of everything. Great joy at the birth of a new great-grandchild, aching sorrow at the death of yet another old friend. Frustration filled me when I was told that some of my age-related problems were here to stay. The tension caused by this news eased when I admitted to myself that most of my health problems are being well managed, if not cured!

All this musing sent my mind back to our last Writing Class. A colleague introduced us to a quotation he had discovered:

“It is not because things are difficult, that we don’t dare; it is because we don’t dare that they are difficult.” (Seneca the Younger, 5BC to 65 AD)

This jarred me into wondering, “Were my difficulties this year caused mainly because I was afraid to tackle them? If I had ‘dared,’ as Seneca put it, and faced my problems head on, would solutions have surfaced earlier?”

I can’t rewrite the past, only learn from it. Just to be on the safe side, I’ll tuck this latest bit of learning in my arsenal for the future. My intention is from now on to: Address difficult situations realistically. Do it as soon as these arise. It will then be easier to determine if a solution is possible, or if acceptance must be my response.

Looks good on paper. The test will be putting it into practice. If I can succeed, even occasionally, time wasted mulling over “What to do?” will be saved. I’m ready now to meet the New Year. So – Join me! ’Tis the Season, and I’m in a cheering mood! I’ve had one more wonderful year savouring life, and have lived it with joy. How can I be this lucky?

Whatever Holiday you’re honouring, may the path ahead be intriguing, smooth, and very much worth travelling.

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September 10, 2014 · 6:47 pm

When Someone You Love Dies . . .

They were gathered together, family and friends, needing the comfort and love of those who understood the gap this death left. Memories were shared, stories told, and chuckles heard. Some tears were choked back. Finally Doug spoke with a voice he strove to keep steady.

“When someone you love dies, you lose the person, but the relationship lives on.”

A hush fell on the group. Some nodded. One chap put his arm around Doug’s shoulders and said, “Bob would be happy to know his son feels that way, Doug. Hang onto that insight. It will be a tie to him that will be priceless.”

In the last year I was reading one of Jim Taylor’s blogs. He wrote of the death of his lifelong friend, Bob Little, and recounted the statement made by Doug. My response to it surprised me. A jumble of emotions poured over me. Sadness, joy, pain, frustration – all were there. Above all, though, there was a feeling of recognition.   Continue reading →

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August 9, 2014 · 5:26 am

Survival Guide for Old Age: Sequel #2

My follow-up on “The Survival Guide for Old Age” is almost complete. The first sequel covered most of the points of interest to me and my age group. In this final work, Sequel #2, the scope widens. Looking back, I recognize that over and over as I wound my way through life, big changes entered the picture.

In the summer of 1937 my Dad moved our family from the farm to the city. We traded the freedom and expanse of the country for a small city apartment – and the opportunity to continue our education. My sister started grade 10 in a High School. I walked a block down a city street, and enrolled in grade 9 in a Junior High School. The country one-room school’s enrollment was about 14 children. My new school was an old three-storey brick building with 400 students! I was in shock – as if I were in a free-fall over a cliff. At any age, drastic change can be traumatic. It takes time to adjust.

I was on a steep learning curve, that first year in the city, but the stars were in my favour. My home-room teacher was an excellent educator, and a caring and compassionate person. No one in his classes went without help and understanding, including myself. With his guidance I learned to adjust to the changes. He also opened my eyes to the endless opportunities education offered, and excited me about further scholastic ventures. My parents were delighted.   Continue reading →

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July 22, 2014 · 2:00 pm

Survival Guide for Old Age: Sequel #1

As preparation for writing this sequel, I reread the original essay carefully. Thoughts crowded into my mind. What is the best way of presenting my stance? Can I even tackle this challenge?

But I am at least qualified to offer the memories accumulated from my own long lifetime. Besides that, my residence is a senior citizens’ home, an interesting launching pad for this essay. This effort is aimed at my generation in the hope that my viewpoint will aid them.

As these thoughts swirl around, I think back on my own life. My mind slips back thirty years. A sudden recession had struck the oil business. Imperial Oil, the company my husband Sheldon worked for, needed to cut costs. They started by offering their older employees early retirement. A common move, but Imperial did it with humanity and caring. The package offered was generous, and the program that accompanied it was amazing. Every retiree and his or her spouse was invited to attend a retirement information class. This course took several days to complete, and covered more aspects than most of us had ever considered. Advice about financial matters was expected. We got that, but also excellent information on the mental, physical, and social adjustments that accompanied retirement.    Continue reading →

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May 8, 2014 · 4:00 pm

Survival Guide for Old Age

The years pile up. Age creeps up slowly, hardly noticed at first. A woman lives in the same home for fifty years. She has a profession and develops it seriously. At home she shares the all-important business of raising a family, keeps the house, does community work, and gardens. Slowly, one by one, all slip away. In the end, it is only she and the house. It becomes imperative now that she make a big change. This is beyond her imagination and she rejects all insistence to do so.

Making a major move is trying at any time. At an advanced age it can be traumatic. Two known constants in life – inevitable change, and resistance to change – are now at loggerheads. More education regarding aging, and the timing and managing of major changes, would be very helpful in many cases. Where can ordinary people get good, reliable information about such a common experience?

When I hear people discussing old age, my mind flips back about seven hundred years to 1310 and a man named Dante Alighieri. His epic poem, “The Divine Comedy”, is revered by literary scholars. My knowledge of it is confined to one line: “Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here.” This is what Dante inscribed on his word-picture of the grim gates to Hell.   Continue reading →

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